Everything is my fault
Derek Sivers gives some food for thoughts in his article Everything is my fault. He starts his article with talking about his book “Anything you want” – which is by the way great and absolutely worth reading. It´s kind of a “quickread” and filled with impressive stories and Derek´s views of life.
This article is definitely a great start for this week!
After blaming all the others for being bad employees and so on he changed his point of view. Actually it was his fault that he let the culture of the company get worse, that he ignored the problems and he didn´t take enough care about the involving factors.
Who doesn´t know the feeling of blaming others for all the problems? I waited half the day for the call of one of my clients – actually it was my fault being not clear and binding enough to set a fixed time. Derek Sivers was appalled of his corrupted employees – acutually it was his fault to let the culture of the company get corrupted and so on.
Derek Sivers describes where the power lies in his idea:
It felt so SO good to realize it was my fault!
This is way better than forgiving. When you forgive, you’re still playing the victim, and they’re still wrong, but you’re charitably pardoning their horrible deeds.
But to decide it’s your fault feels amazing! Now you weren’t wronged. They were just playing their part in the situation you created. They’re just delivering the punch-line to the joke you set up.
We can easily apply his “Everything is my fault”-idea to the rest of our lifes.
He gives examples like: The love of my life that dumped me out of the blue after 6 years? My fault. I let our relationsship plateau. Someone was rude to me today? My fault. I could have lightened their mood beforehand.
I thought about his idea quite a long time. Besides how powerful it is, I noticed that – by the time – we (should) start thinking about reducing our faults. We should try to avoid faults in advance (for example) by being more committed and clearer. We shouldn´t let a situation arise which could lead to the blame-game. The next time we write an important eMail, have a decision to make – or whatsoever -, we should think about what can happen that could lead to a situation of unsatifaction or trouble, and “fix it in advance”!
- Arrange a fixed time for calling you back – instead of waiting and blaming him that he is unreliable
- Call your girlfriend – instead of blaming her why she didn´t call you
- Take care of your employees – instead of losing them one by one and blaming them for being bad employees
- Talk to your colleague and his problems when you see that he has a bad mood – instead of absorbing his bad mood and spending a day next to each other without talking at all and blaming him for being such an idi…